alpha reader?

[oldblue.livejournal.com]

Hey folks.

I am stuck - seriously damn stuck - on a sex scene. I've been doing nothing but changing the same words around for about two days now. Mostly, I feel like I'm treading old ground here, and I'm just plain out of ideas. It reads like a generic, blue-label slash scene right now. So I'm basically looking for someone to take a quick read-through and maybe breathe a little new life into things.

Some background:
This is for get_house_laid, it will eventually be H/W, H/Cuddy, and H/W/C. The scene in question is just H/W and is NC-17, and involves House being slightly submissive to Wilson. There are some bits that haven't been written in yet because they feel so trite to me right now.

Basically, I'm looking for any way to spice it up a little or for any other crits. If you're interested, either post here or just e-mail me at bluefootedb [at] gmail [dot] com and I'll send it on over. Please be harsh.

And this post is now probably longer than the scene ;) Thanks in advance!

ETA: Thanks for all the help I've gotten! Now I just have to write this damn thing ;)

Comments

[dropthetowel.livejournal.com]

Most beta readers seem to be slammed with work at this time of year. I'm not qualified. Keep checking back. Don't give up.